My fingers hover tentatively above the keyboard as I wonder, ‘What on earth am I doing here?’ One thing is for sure, I wouldn’t be here were it not for a friend who blogs under the name of Tractorgirl66, a name which fascinates me….why Tractorgirl? Tractorgirl is responsible for a lot of things in my life – putting out the infamous rose petal fire on my hearth, praying with me, rendering me helpless with laughter repeatedly and getting me on the radio at stupid o’clock on a Sunday morning. It was a short radio career, sadly, as Tractorgirl is now working elsewhere, but this is principally why I’m here. I literally sweated and agonised for hours over those 3 minute Thought for the Day pieces and now they are languishing on my computer. I’ve often thought I’d put them on a blog, so here I am – blogging when I should be ‘doing jobs’.
I wanted a blogging name with a ring to it – a bit like Tractorgirl66, really. I hit upon ‘theblondewhodrivesa4x4’ because it was the title of a chapter of a book whose title I cannot remember, and I am indeed blonde and I drive a 4×4.
I am so blonde. I can’t remember the titles of books or the film I saw last month. I lose my keys, I set rose petals on fire, and I am perfectly capable of planning two distinctly different activities in two different places on the same day and at the same time.
I am fiercely blonde. My aim is to die peacefully in my sleep aged 100 years and 10 months with my own teeth and blonde hair. I have older blonde role models, still working hard past retirement age, living life in the fast lane, breaking the speed limit in the fast lane, looking young and fit and full of zest. I want to be like that.
I am deliberately blonde. I hate to admit it, but my ‘blondeness’ is a smoke screen to cover up a lingering lack of confidence. If I act blonde, then no one will be surprised if I mess up, and I often do. If I say something intelligent, then people will be gratifyingly surprised.
As for the 4×4, well technically, that’s because I live the wrong side of the river from my place of work, and I don’t want to stall in the floods. That’s what I tell everyone, but even our possessions reveal something about us. I like cars – the faster the better. Yes, I bought The Hubbin a leather Radio Times cover one Christmas years ago, and my friends affectionately rib me about being posh. I like to excuse all this by telling myself that I like things done properly.
So, having completely set myself up as a complete airhead, now would not be a good time to reveal that I am a wife, mother, grandmother and full-time founding headteacher who juggles lots of spinning plates in a school the wrong side of the river from my home. (It’s a successful school at that – the inspectors say so.) How on earth did that happen? Simply put, it’s a God thing. I could not live my life without Him, and sometimes He intervenes in your life, turns it upside down, and takes you on a completely unexpected path where you end up doing things you thought you could never do. God delights in turning things the wrong way up, but the Bible puts it so much more eloquently: ‘Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.’ 1 Corinthians 1:27.
So if you think that you are completely useless and worthless. Don’t. Just let go, and let God…………